i keep coughing up violets

we never really cared about jesus but 
christmas was an excuse to deck the house 
in tinsels, hot chocolate & an absurd number
of fairy lights. put on a favorite movie, 
gorge upon heart-shaped chocolates,
& hug the people you love. i love you. 
i hope i said that enough when you were 
around. jump then fall (taylor’s version) 
comes on the radio & i’m smothered 
in blankets & dad is volleying snowballs
at my face. i hear laughter echoing in 
a car moving through a snowy afternoon 
to a home i cannot see. my dreams haunt 
me with memories i can never touch 
again. snow drips down my cheek 
& my ribs ache from giggling stop 
tickling me! in every dream, i walk across
the bridge & hope to see you 
on the other side. jump 
then fall has always been my christmas
song because nothing hurts in my favorite 
city & i keep tumbling down the hill. it’s
okay. i barely have a scrape. we’ll walk 
to the chinese restaurant down the road 
& i’ll forget all about it because these paths
remember you. i’ll be okay 
as long as i ca n remember yo